Deborah Jones Sherwood
  • Welcome
  • *Silent Night
  • *Everything I Know about Christmas, I Learned from the Hallmark Channel
  • Christmas in the '50s
  • *The Holiday Letter 2015
  • My 2018 Christmas Letter
  • The Man in the Red Plaid Shirt
  • Happy New Year!
  • *Sparking Joy
  • Happy Halloween!
  • *ZOOMING ALONG
  • *The Elderly Lady Next Door
  • Me & Mr. K
  • *The SEND Button and Other Regrets
  • *Home Alone
  • Valentine's Day
  • *Ain't no way to Treat a Lady
  • *Dawdlers and Tiaras
  • My Birthday Fundraiser
  • *'Tis the Season to be......Scary!
  • Who You Gonna Call?
  • ...and the winner is.....
  • Remembering Annie
  • *Stacation in the Hood
  • My Day as a NIH Lab Rat
  • *Blithe Summer
  • *Never Buy Fish from the Clearance Bin and other Sage Advice
  • *Four and Twenty Blackbirds
  • Spring! When an Old Man's Fancy turns to Thoughts of ....Home Projects
  • Oh, Maury!
  • Oh, Crap. Another Birthday.
  • There's No Cool like an Old Cool
  • Mooning the Baptists on Easter Sunday
  • Bye, Bye, Bonnie
  • *When I'm Sixty-Four
  • *Take me out to the Ballgame...please?
  • Honor Flight
  • "But you don't look sick."
  • Are you an Old Geezer with an Extra Nats Ticket?
  • Are you the Goat who kicked me in the Head?
  • *Oh! The Places You'll Go!
  • *You Go, Girl!
                                EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT CHRISTMAS
                               I LEARNED FROM THE HALLMARK CHANNEL


AVOID SANTA CLAUS:
Whether he’s sitting on a big red velvet throne at a shopping mall, or standing on a street corner ringing a bell, stay far, far away! Never tell him what you want for Christmas and under no circumstances ever complain about your life. Wishes and complaints can have serious consequences.
               A wink of his eye and a twist of his head could have you repeating the same day over and over until you learn a valuable lesson. By laying a finger aside of his nose, he could send you hurtling into an alternate dimension where you experience what would have happened if you had never been born, or made a different life choice many years earlier. The thought is a bit unnerving, although, it is somewhat appealing to think I could go back to a time when my skin still fit.
 
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME:
Flat tires, cancelled flights, and broken down buses, all add to the urgency that you absolutely must get home by Christmas. Luckily there is always a cheerful stranger heading your way who is happy to have you tag along.
               After being stranded overnight in a snowbound cabin, you realize the stranger is actually the true love of your life. The homeward trek ends with your family embracing your new love and happily booting your selfish, egotistical, fiancé out the door, and smack into the 10-foot-high inflatable gingerbread man on the front lawn.
 
 THE CLOCK IS TICKING:  Whether you are attempting to escape an interdimensional vortex, or desperately trying to repossess your body after being switched with another person, the deadline is always midnight, Christmas Eve. Even if you are frantically struggling to keep the orphanage open, save the local factory from being closed down, or the town from an unscrupulous developer; it has to be done before midnight.
 
HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Treasured family heirlooms, tattered photographs, and faded letters that have been missing for decades, inexplicably materialize on the entry hall table. Everybody gets the presents they wanted, misunderstandings are resolved, long lost loved ones unexpectedly appear at the front door, and everyone enjoys an elegant, candlelight dinner together.
            Christmas Day concludes with the entire group piling into a horse drawn sleigh that jauntily delivers them to the town square, where they unite with townsfolk singing carols beneath a stately, vibrantly illuminated Christmas tree.

Picture
And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling:
“How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!”
And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more."

(Dr. Seuss 1904-1991)