Valentine's Day: The most dreaded day of the year for single men.
Just when you had a chance to finally relax and enjoy the Super Bowl with your beer-swilling buddies, the pressure begins. Suddenly, you are bombarded with ads for jewelry, flowers and expensive chocolates in luxuriously, embellished boxes.
Remember how Valentine's Day was so much simpler back in the days when you were married? Your wife never expected you to remember the most romantic day of the year. You thought she would be happy that you were thoughtful enough to pick up Chinese Take-Out on your way home.
My advice to you single men is that it's better not to make a date for Valentine's Day unless you are in a committed relationship.
However, if you are widowed, divorced, or never married and still dumb enough to make a date for Valentine's Day, you can't show up without a gift. Most likely, you are totally clueless, so allow me to help you out with a few tiny suggestions.
She doesn't want chocolates, and lingerie or pajamagrams are probably not a good idea. Choosing the wrong size, either too large or too small, will likely create a very awkward evening.
Supermarket flowers are a poor choice; even the pricey ones in the glass case. A floral delivery to her home or office can be a delightful surprise.
Perfume can be an acceptable gift, but only if you are certain of her favorite fragrance. However, if you are considering jewelry, I recommend you stay with innocuous items like gold chains, or pearl earrings. You may want to avoid anything heart shaped or that comes in a black velvet box. Skin care products, and puppies with red ribbons around their necks, are never appropriate.
Of course, there is always Plan B:
Throw yourself down a flight of stairs. Those old bones of yours will Snap, Crackle, and Pop! You may be wrapped up like a mummy, but compared to the stress of getting through Valentine's Day, a few weeks in Intensive Care will seem like a vacation.
Just when you had a chance to finally relax and enjoy the Super Bowl with your beer-swilling buddies, the pressure begins. Suddenly, you are bombarded with ads for jewelry, flowers and expensive chocolates in luxuriously, embellished boxes.
Remember how Valentine's Day was so much simpler back in the days when you were married? Your wife never expected you to remember the most romantic day of the year. You thought she would be happy that you were thoughtful enough to pick up Chinese Take-Out on your way home.
My advice to you single men is that it's better not to make a date for Valentine's Day unless you are in a committed relationship.
However, if you are widowed, divorced, or never married and still dumb enough to make a date for Valentine's Day, you can't show up without a gift. Most likely, you are totally clueless, so allow me to help you out with a few tiny suggestions.
She doesn't want chocolates, and lingerie or pajamagrams are probably not a good idea. Choosing the wrong size, either too large or too small, will likely create a very awkward evening.
Supermarket flowers are a poor choice; even the pricey ones in the glass case. A floral delivery to her home or office can be a delightful surprise.
Perfume can be an acceptable gift, but only if you are certain of her favorite fragrance. However, if you are considering jewelry, I recommend you stay with innocuous items like gold chains, or pearl earrings. You may want to avoid anything heart shaped or that comes in a black velvet box. Skin care products, and puppies with red ribbons around their necks, are never appropriate.
Of course, there is always Plan B:
Throw yourself down a flight of stairs. Those old bones of yours will Snap, Crackle, and Pop! You may be wrapped up like a mummy, but compared to the stress of getting through Valentine's Day, a few weeks in Intensive Care will seem like a vacation.