Deborah Jones Sherwood
  • Welcome
  • *Silent Night
  • *Everything I Know about Christmas, I Learned from the Hallmark Channel
  • Christmas in the '50s
  • *The Holiday Letter 2015
  • My 2018 Christmas Letter
  • The Man in the Red Plaid Shirt
  • Happy New Year!
  • *Sparking Joy
  • Happy Halloween!
  • *ZOOMING ALONG
  • *The Elderly Lady Next Door
  • Me & Mr. K
  • *The SEND Button and Other Regrets
  • *Home Alone
  • Valentine's Day
  • *Ain't no way to Treat a Lady
  • *Dawdlers and Tiaras
  • My Birthday Fundraiser
  • *'Tis the Season to be......Scary!
  • Who You Gonna Call?
  • ...and the winner is.....
  • Remembering Annie
  • *Stacation in the Hood
  • My Day as a NIH Lab Rat
  • *Blithe Summer
  • *Never Buy Fish from the Clearance Bin and other Sage Advice
  • *Four and Twenty Blackbirds
  • Spring! When an Old Man's Fancy turns to Thoughts of ....Home Projects
  • Oh, Maury!
  • Oh, Crap. Another Birthday.
  • There's No Cool like an Old Cool
  • Mooning the Baptists on Easter Sunday
  • Bye, Bye, Bonnie
  • *When I'm Sixty-Four
  • *Take me out to the Ballgame...please?
  • Honor Flight
  • "But you don't look sick."
  • Are you an Old Geezer with an Extra Nats Ticket?
  • Are you the Goat who kicked me in the Head?
  • *Oh! The Places You'll Go!
  • *You Go, Girl!
Picture
I emerge from the dark congested Metro station to find a heavy, overcast sky, driving rain, and bustling pedestrians huddled beneath the shelter of black umbrellas.

I dash inside Bed, Bath and Beyond, then stroll through the aisles, giving my eyes time to adjust to the harsh fluorescent lights.

Mr. K: "I've been expecting you."

Me: "What? I beg your pardon?" I turn and see him.

Mr. K: "Don't you remember me? We met at your friends' place in New Hampshire. Have you already forgotten we spent last Christmas together?"

Me: "Yes, of course I remember. I had a wonderful holiday with my friends."

Mr. K: "You spent most of the time in the kitchen with me."

Me: "Well, you know they say all the best parties end up in the kitchen."

Mr. K: "As I recall, you were the first to come downstairs for breakfast. Perhaps, because you knew I was there? C'mon, Sweetheart; why don't you admit you came in here to find me."

Me: "I just wanted to get out of the rain. Really."

He glances at my hands. I look down and realize I'm clutching a 20% off Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon.

Me: "Oh, this? I was thinking about buying some towels."

Mr. K: "Linens are on the other side of the store. I watched you walk past them when you came in. Admit it, Babe. We both know why you're here. You got a taste of Old Mr. K. and can't stop thinking about him.....am I right?"

Me: "Towels. Honestly. I only came in for towels." I stammer.

Mr. K: "Yeah, sure. So, what are you in the mood for, Babe? Something a little dark? French? Italian?" He smirks as he drags out each syllable, "Col-ummmm-bian? Maybe you would rather have something a bit more on the sweet side? Irish Creme? Hazelnut? Belgian Chocolate? I remember you were particularly fond of Kahlua. I'm all about variety, Honey. Whatever makes you happy." 


Me: "It's late. I really should be getting home."

Mr. K: "We both know you're not leaving without me."

Me: "Rain....uh....rain...and it's cold outside...." I stammer.

Mr. K: "Cold? I can fix you right up with some spicy, hot Chai Latte. Later tonight, a little of my soothing, warm chamomile will help you drift right off into dreamland...."

Me: "Well, I do like Chai Latte."

Mr. K: "That's my girl. Now, let's take care of a little business with the cashier and head over to your place."